Selfishness

I never expected that the person I love would tell me I am selfish. Why? its because I am way to possessive? very jealous person? I'm feeling that way because I just love the person very much.

Yes I admit, I'm afraid losing another person I love. I wanted to keep the relationship and as much as possible, all my time I would give to that person alone. I wanted to have more memories together with my love. I want to care and love the person as long as I can.

At first I was not possessive nor jealous. But as time goes by, I am becoming. Because one thing is for sure, I have known my love has feelings over the other despite that I am there. Why? It hurt me so bad that I really want to confront my love but I can't. I am so afraid to hear the truth from her and would come out from the mouth that yes there is feelings existing.

Yes! I became more possessive to a point I am holding my love like my prisoner. Yes! I am much insecure because I am not expressive to my feelings, I just keep quite and doesn't know how to care and say flowering words. But frankly speaking I appreciate and idolized my love, I just don't know how to express it. I am not sweet,  I'm just me like a stick sometimes. Or maybe I am not fond to be with.

But really it gets into my nerves everytime I remember my lover's confession. So hurting, I wanted to shout, get angry because I was just fooled. All I did was cry out. Cried so painfully.

I do respect my love's decision. I do respect the friends surrounding us. I am really thankful that my love has many friends that love and care. I like those person who accepted what my love is.

One thing is for sure I am not letting my love stay away with friends, officemates and classmates. I wanted my love to enjoy too. Its just that there are just girls that are showy. So I can't help being jealous and hurt.