Why is It?

Why is it when I scream or say loud it was already anger and "suplada". Why is it if he screams or say loud I step down backward and get angry and he tells me after a minute to stop the anger and I would suddenly stop or after a minute to stop and let the anger pass away. But if its in vice versa, it is so very big deal! Ako na yata pinaka suplada sa buong mundo. Kng hindi mn ay pinaka pangit na ugali, wala nang hihigit pa.

I know in his mind  he would say:

Mabuti pa si ________
mas mabuti pa si _________
pinakabuti pa si _________

And I am not in those blanks. I will be on blanks that are so much ironic on those above. 3 blanks to 3 girls. How lucky are they, they have the heart of my love.

He says: why on his friends there are no malice when they hug and kiss on public but when it comes to me I am putting malice. And why is it when I put the first move helding his hand, walking really beside him he would immediately take off his hands or kulang na lng he would push me hard to move away. Do you know how much that hurts...., I am beginning to let the public know how much I care and love in that ways but he is to the one to reject it.

How lucky the girls he is with, he really cares and act as gentleman. It is ok for him na akbayan siya or hold his hand but me I cannot do it because he say its discrimination!

Why is it happening? because I am not that sweet nor caring on and off public. I am not like the "playing your song" girl or "past is past" girl and or "pasalubong effect" girl. Na grabe mga guts...always on first move which he greatfully likes..girls on first move and really very very very very friendly girls with very nice attitude and character. While me, its very complete opposite.

I know it a long time ago, knowing him, I am not the type of girl that he likes or admires. Comparing me to his girls and friends its far beyond compare. Maybe my life is still dreaming on...............